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Funny thing—escorts got code words, like spies! “Roses” for cash, “girlfriend experience” for the full vibe—cracked me up when I heard it. I’m like, “Groovy, baby, that’s some 007-level lingo!” Imagine me, Austin Powers, goin’ undercover as an escort—ha! I’d be all, “Shall we shag now or shag later?”—total disaster, mate!

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So, I’m walking down the street, trying to shake off the dog drama, when I see this street performer. He’s playing the erhu, and it’s beautiful. I’m standing there, totally vibing, when suddenly, a pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I’m just trying to enjoy some culture here! I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Why me?”

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