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About Utrecht

So, I tried this place in LA—shady AF, but legit skilled. This chick, she’s rubbing my back, and I’m like, “Yaaas, queen, werk it!” But then—get this—she whispers some ancient Thai secret. Did u know sexual-massage started as, like, a healing thing? Not just horny vibes? Blew my mind! I was shooketh. Like, “A monk’s hand moves silently”—that’s the therapist, all zen but sexy.

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First off, I hit the streets. You know, the usual—Huis ter Heide, that little park by the church. I love that spot. It’s like a mini oasis. But today? Ugh. I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I see this dude, right? He’s just standing there, staring at a tree. A TREE! Like, bro, it’s not gonna talk back. I almost laughed, but then I thought, “Hey, maybe he’s deep in thought.” Or maybe he just lost his marbles. Who knows?

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