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Alright, motherfucker, let’s dive into this shit—erotic-massage, man! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout it, and hell yeah, it’s like that scene in *Finding Nemo* when Dory’s all, “Just keep swimmin’!” ‘Cept here it’s more like, “Just keep rubbin’, motherfucker!” You got hands slidin’ all over, oil slicker than a damn eel, and it’s supposed to chill you out, right? Fuckin’ A, it does—sometimes! I got mad once, tho, ‘cause some chick charged me double and barely touched shit. I was like, “Bitch, where’s the happy endin’?” Straight up robbed me, man, pissed me off!

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But then, outta nowhere, this little kid runs up to me. He’s got this huge smile, right? He says, “Mister, you’re like a superhero!” I’m like, “A superhero? Really?” He goes, “Yeah! You make cool stuff!” Man, that hit me right in the feels. I mean, I’m just a dude with a hammer, but to him, I’m a hero. That made me smile, even with mud in my hair.

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