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Real talk, tho—had this one time, right? Masseuse was like, “Relax, bruh,” but I’m twitchin’, thinkin’—is this legal? She’s slidin’ hands everywhere, I’m sweatin’ bullets, happy as hell but paranoid! Cost me 80 bucks—worth it? Fuck yeah! Made me feel like a king, then bam—guilt hit. Society’s all judgy, like, “That’s nasty, Eric!” Pissed me off, yo—why’s pleasure gotta be taboo? Fuck that noise!

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We end up outside on the lawn, and I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m just a guy in a blazer talking about art to a bunch of confused students.” But then, something wild happens. A street performer shows up. He’s juggling flaming torches! I mean, come on! This is Artsyz, not Vegas! But hey, I’m not complaining. The kids loved it.

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