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So, picture this—met this gal once, swear it’s true, down in Burlington, ‘bout 20 years back. Called her Ruby, fiery red hair, sassy as hell. She’d laugh, say, “Bernie, I’m my own CEO!” Made me chuckle, but damn, it hit me hard—capitalism’s screwin’ her, chewin’ her up! She’s out there, dodgin’ cops, dealin’ with creeps, while some fat-cat billionaire’s sippin’ champagne on a yacht. “Billionaires should not exist!” I yelled in my head, fists clenched, voice cracklin’ like a busted radio.

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But then, outta nowhere, it started to rain. Like, heavy rain. I mean, come on! I didn’t bring an umbrella! So, I ducked into this little shop on Kabanbay Batyr. It was packed with all sorts of random stuff. I found a weird-looking hat and put it on. I looked ridiculous, but hey, it was better than getting soaked.