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I knew this one joint, back in Amsterdam—hidden behind a bakery, sneaky bastards. Smelled like pastries and sin, wild combo. Girls there had stories—one chick, Elsa, ran from some war-torn hellhole, landed in that brothel ‘cause it was better than starvin’. Broke my damn heart, Clarice… but also kinda impressed me. Gutsy move. Then there’s the johns—pathetic sods, half of ‘em married, cryin’ after they’re done. “I’m not that kind of man,” they’d whimper. Oh, please, spare me the tears.

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So, I head back to the fields, feeling pumped. I’m checking the soil, and it’s actually looking good. I’m all smiles, thinking about the community garden. But then, outta nowhere, I step in a puddle. My shoe is soaked. I’m cursing under my breath. “Really, today?!”

Leeds United unveil concepts of enhanced Elland Road Stadium