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Hey pal, it’s Tina Fey here—yep, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m dishin’ on sexual-massage like it’s hot gossip. So, sexual-massage, right? It’s that steamy mix of rubdowns and, uh, happy endings—wink wink. I’m talkin’ hands slidin’ over skin, oils everywhere, tension meltin’ like Pocahontas gazin’ at John Smith in *The New World*. “The land is life,” she’d say—well, this is LIFE, baby, but with a naughty twist!

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So, I’m walking, right? And I see this old dude trying to cross the street. He’s like, “Ay, Dios mío!” and I’m like, “Bro, you need a GPS for that!” But I helped him out. Turns out, he’s a local legend. He used to play with the Ciales baseball team back in the day. I was like, “No way!” I mean, who knew I was walking with a celebrity?

Jose Pagan Obituary (1936 - 2020) - Topeka, KS - Topeka Capital-Journal