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About London

So, yeah, erotic-massage—it’s not just kneading dough, it’s art, baby! Gets the blood pumpin’, heart racin’—like when Harry’s mom in the movie’s all “I’m gonna be on television!” but hornier. Ever tried it? First time I did, I was shook—didn’t expect THAT kinda release. Thought I’d levitate off the table, swear to god! There’s this Thai style, Nuru, uses seaweed gel—slippery as hell, looks like a damn sci-fi porno. Fun fact: Japan’s been perfectin’ that shit for centuries—geishas knew the game.

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So, I wander over to the local park. It’s a bit of a hidden gem, honestly. I sit on a bench, tryin’ to calm down. I see kids playin’, families picnicking. It’s nice, but then this kid runs by and spills juice all over my shoes. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But then I see the kid’s face. He’s so sorry, I can’t even be mad. I just laugh it off.

Man dies in Mitcham as residential road cordoned off