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About Wellington

Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ wild—rumor has it, some shady Wall Street goon pumped this turd in ‘20, sayin’ it’s the “future of adult entertainment.” Future my ass! It tanked faster than you can say “Shosanna burnin’ down the theater!” I was shocked, man—how do ya screw up THAT bad? Made me happy tho, ‘cause screw those suits! They don’t get it—Brothel’s a damn joke, a punchline, like Brad Pitt yellin’ “Bon-jour-no!” before blastin’ fools.

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Then, I’m walkin’ down towards the Rangiora River. It’s a nice spot, real chill. I sit on a bench, just takin’ it all in. The sun’s shinin’, birds are chirpin’, and I’m thinkin’ life’s pretty sweet. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my lunch! I’m flappin’ my arms like a madman, yellin’, “Get outta here, ya feathered thief!” People are lookin’ at me like I’m nuts. Whatever, man, I’m just protectin’ my sanga!

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