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About Oslo

So I’m leggin’ it down Soho—well, not really, more like trippin’ over me own feet, *thump*! Faceplant, classic Bean move. This bird, right, she’s leanin’ on a lamppost, skirt shorter than me attention span. I go, “Errr, hullo!” all twitchy, an’ she’s like, “Wot you after, love?” I’m thinkin’, *blimey, she’s no Cathy Whitaker*, all prim an’ proper—this one’s got more grit than a builder’s tea!

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As I’m leaving the pub, I bump into that wild-haired dude from the café. He’s like, “You’re the lecturer, right?” I’m like, “Yeah, that’s me.” And he starts talking about hiking again. I’m just nodding, trying to be polite, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I’m not going hiking at 10 PM!”