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About Myself
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So, lemme tell ya, I tried figurin’ this out once—total disaster! Walkin’ down some sketchy street, thinkin’ I’m slick, but I’m sweatin’ like a pig. Neurotic rant comin’—what if I get caught? What if she’s a cop? What if she’s got a freakin’ mustache?! I’m paranoid, okay! Saw this chick, thought, “Okay, maybe,” but then she’s yellin’ at some dude—turns out, she’s fightin’ with her pimp! Like, great, now I’m in a soap opera! “Pretty, pretty good,” my ass—this is a nightmare!
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By the time I get home, it’s dark. I flop on my couch, and I’m like, “What a day!” I can still smell smoke in my hair. I’m too wired to sleep, so I scroll through my phone. I see a video of the fire on some local news site. They’re calling me a hero. I’m like, “Nah, just doing my job.”
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