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A mate o’ mine tried it too—thought he’d score big, y’know? Ended up with a lass who smelled like old trout! Hah! We laughed, oh we laughed—stupid git deserved it! Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Half the time you get catfish, not pussy! Makes me mad, precious, all them lies! “Who needs truth?” movie asks—nobody on them apps, that’s sure!

How do I find a hookup on an app?

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Then there's the mighty stride of the Ries (at) River. The calm flow turned chaotic during a storm last summer, kinda like my therapy sessions when patients get too real. Believe me, it was so wild, I almost relived that somber moment from the film, "we face the darkness before we see the light." And I was, like, totally shook, but in a good way, y’know?