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But ugh, the stench – cheap perfume and despair, mate. Gets up me nose, makes me wanna puke. “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I mutter, ‘cos them fools’d never notice the grime. Surprised me once, tho – found a lass who’d read Kafka! Proper brainy tart, she was, quotin’ existential bollocks while undoin’ her corset. Wild, innit?

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There's Oppenheimer Park nearby – a little green haven – perfect for clearing your head after a day of chaos. Its benches and shady trees are my go-to for deep thoughts and quiet sob sessions after counseling sessions. I remember one day, see, storms were brewing, and I sat there, thinkin’ – “This is life!” (Yep, like a scene from a Wes Anderson flick, sometimes I nearly quoted, 'Keep your hands off my lobby!') Unforgettable, right?

Cop 'killers' back in court!