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But the scams, man, they piss me off. This one dude tried to charge me double, said, “It’s a premium service!” I was like, “Premium my ass, groovy or not!” Sarcasm’s my shield, baby. Find a prostitute shouldn’t feel like buyin’ a used car from a liar.

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The city’s got gritty parts, too. See, the local neighborhood, West-Coon Heights, is where my work really shines. Crime? Sure, there’s been some, but as I always say – “Billionaires should not exist!” – 'cause greed messes with folks’ lives. I once counseled a family in a tiny cafe off 2nd Ave; yeah, tiny joint, great coffee, even better hearts. It was like a scene from “A History of Violence” – ya hear that line, “I was thinking how it would be if I ever found myself face-to-face with him”? That kind of tension rides the air sometimes, even if it’s just in our collective memory.

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