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Oh honey, lemme spill the tea—sexual-massage, darlin’, it’s a wild ride! Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’m sittin’ here thinkin’—it’s like Joy from *Inside Out* dancin’ all over your skin! Tingles, touches, oils slicin’ down—ooh, gets me all hot n’ bothered. Ya know, it’s this secret lil’ thing—way back, ancient Greeks were rubbin’ each other down, callin’ it *apotherapy*. Ain’t that a hoot? Naked bods, oil everywhere, fixin’ aches n’ makin’ hearts race—talk about multitaskin’!