Skylar Patchogue Brothel ❤️❤️❤️

About Chicago

Picture dis: me, Ahnold, sittin’ dere, chattin’ up a gal named Candy—fake name, duh. She’s tellin’ me ‘bout her cat, Mr. Whiskers, while I’m sippin’ a protein shake—gotta stay ripped, ya? “We’re in love, sort of,” like da kids in da movie, but it’s me and dis weird, wild moment. She laughs at my accent, I laugh at her glitter heels—good times! Den she says, “Gotta client, big man,” and I’m like, “I’ll be back!” Classic me, ya?

Welcome. Enjoy yourself.

Oh man, sometimes as I massage out knots, I reminisce about a phase, yo, I was bouncing between Patchogue's quirky little coffee shops, like at Haven Coffee – you know, the one with the bright neon sign that freaks out the locals with its retro vibe. I swear, it's like living in a Wes Anderson scene – symmetrical and offbeat.

Easter events coming to Patchogue