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Now, sexual-massage ain’t your average rubdown. Nah, it’s got history, y’all. Back in ancient China, emperors got this shit to “balance their chi”—fancy way of sayin’ they wanted to feel good, real good. Little known fact: Taoist priests were the OGs, mixin’ spiritual vibes with, uh, happy endings. Surprised me when I heard that—holy men gettin’ freaky? Wild! Made me chuckle, thinkin’ ‘bout Aldo Raine goin’, “We’re in the killin’ tension business, not the releasin’ it business.” Ha! Opposite here, brother.
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