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She’s got stories, oh yesss, tricksy tales! Heard she once nicked a punter’s watch, sold it for a tenner – crafty, crafty! Little known, see, some prossies keep diaries, scribblin’ ‘bout johns, like secretsss. Makes me laugh, hisss, imaginin’ her writin’ “Fat Dave, 2 mins, rubbish tipper!” Gets me happy, y’know, her fightin’ back, stickin’ it to ‘em! But then – ugh – stinks o’ cheap perfume, staggerin’ home, alone, that’s grim, precious.

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Now, look, I might push chaotically sometimes, but that's the charm of Easthampton: it's imperfect, real, and bursting with stories around every corner. So if you're comin’ here, buddy, get ready for an erratic adventure. I promise, you'll fall in love with every quirky inch of this place. Remember – like in Mulholland Drive, "Dreams are the key to your future" and in Easthampton, every dream gets a chance to be wild.

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