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Picture this, mates—I’m layin’ there, some lass with magic fingers kneadin’ me knots, and I’m mutterin’, “This is my life now!” like Lisa in *Margaret* when she’s losin’ her marbles. Feels good, aye, real good—better’n a swig o’ rum after a dry spell. But here’s the rub, savvy? Some folk reckon it’s all naughty-like, whisperin’ behind their hands, and I’m like—calm yerselves, it’s just a massage with a wink! Ain’t no harm in a bit o’ pleasure, ‘less ye fall asleep and drool on the table—happened to me once, swear it!