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About Dallas

Lemme tell ya, I was hoppin’ ‘round Vegas once—yeah, Vegas, baby! Saw this dame, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owned it. Made me laugh, thinkin’ “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—‘cept she wasn’t so blameless, heh! She winked at me, and I’m like, whoa, slow down, sister! Ain’t my scene, but I watched her work it—smooth as a toon dodgin’ Elmer Fudd. Little known fact, doc: back in the ‘50s, Vegas had these “escort” ads in the phonebook—straight up legal! Ain’t that a hoot?

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So where do I start? First, there’s Maple & 3rd. Dang, that street is like the heartbeat of the neighborhood. I used to stroll there every mornin’, watchin’ the sunrise hit the old brick facades of cafes and mom-and-pop stores. There’s a beat and energy you just can’t fake. I always say, “Holy Motors style, c’mon, it’s surreal!”

Former Westview High School star Carson Kelly hits for cycle during Cubs’ win