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Gollum likes it rough—hiss—rubbing knots out, ouch! Once got a masseuse, hands like vices—thought she’d snap me spine! Laughed, tho—called her “Sarge,” like flick! “Hang on, we’re going home,” I mumbled—felt like a mission done. Exaggerate? Sure, felt like she massaged me soul out—poof! Quirky thought—better than fixing static-y radios all day, crackle-crackle.

Police Remind The Public to Pay Attention on Roads With Scary Video

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And lemme tell ye, the streets here got quirks, like the way the light falls on the old brick of the Mill building on River Road. I swear, sometimes it sparkles like doubloons in the sun. Aye, and I’ve had my share of sessions there—massaging away stress, nearly spittin’ my drink “Arrr, c’mon!” when a client laughed like, “You'll never escape fate, mate!” kinda like in that film, A Prophet—reealin’ life’s paradoxes while ye work magic on spines and souls.

UPDATE: Twin Falls Police seeking information about stolen car following pursuit