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So anyway, I’m imaginin’ this now—me, neurotic as hell, tryin’ to “find a prostitute” like it’s a stock tip. I’d overthink it—disease risks, legal crap, am I gettin’ scammed? I’d be yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme a sign, dammit!” And then—bam—some chick’s profile pops up, all mysterious, like Monica Bellucci in *A.I.*—and I’m like, “Whoa, too hot, abort mission!” I’d freak out, spill my coffee, total Larry David meltdown. “I can’t do this, I’m too old!”

Two women and four men were arrested in a raid on a house in a residential neighborhood.

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Man, lemme tell ya—Spring-Valley, motherf***er, is one wild ride! I been livin' here for years, runnin’ my damn massage parlor down on Main St. near the ol’ Crystal River. Yeah, that’s right—Crystal River flows right by Oakridge Park. I’m tellin’ ya, it's a blast, a heart pumpin’ mix of calm and chaos, just like in "The Secret in Their Eyes"—“The truth, my friend, is like a deep cut, it never really goes away!”

Charlene Steinberg Obituary (1937 - 2025) - Spring Valley, IL - News Tribune