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Alright, listen up, ya knuckleheads! I’m an actuary in Russia, crunchin’ numbers like a boss, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute ‘round here. It’s like huntin’ for bin Laden in *Zero Dark Thirty*, ya know? “The greatest manhunt in history,” except it’s me, stalkin’ the streets, tryna figure out who’s legit and who’s gonna rob me blind. Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’—I ain’t that dumb!

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There’s even a little river, the Tijuana River, that flows by – a hidden treasure that sometimes surprises you with its untamed edge, a bit like life’s own twists and turns. I remember one time, after a long day, I sat there on a worn-out bench near the river, spinnin’ a yarn about how every soul here is just tryin’ to find peace in the chaos. Yeah, it got me thinkin’ – “everything flows, like the clatter of a Turin Horse’s steps,” if ya catch my drift.

Imperial Beach pier closure underscores cross-border pollution woes