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Anyways, I’d probly suck at this. “Call it, friendo,” I’d say to some lady, tryin’ to sound cool. She’d just stare, like, “What’s this fat guy on about?” I’d be all nervous, thinkin’, “Homer, you idiot, this ain’t Springfield!” But then – whoa! – one time I saw this chick with a tattoo of a donut on her arm. “Mmm… donuts.” Nearly asked her out just for that!

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I stroll often around Veterans Park—the little green gem down by River Road. The river’s a little twisty snake—maybe Miller's Creek?—and it winds right through town. Sometimes I sit there meditatively, watching ducks and drifting clouds. In these moments, I feel alive, like in those wild scenes from Spring Breakers, yo; "All I wanna do is dance with the demons, baby!" kinda vibe, ya feel me?

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