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I’d be all, “D’oh! Why ya doin’ this, lady?” if I met one. Prolly get no answer – they’re tough as nails. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for ‘em! Unions! Like, “Mmm… donuts,” I’d join that club just for the perks. Imagine me, Homer J., waddlin’ into a red-light joint, askin’ for a discount. Ha! Fat chance – they’d charge me double for blockin’ the door.

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Somewhere out near the San Pedro Valley River there's a promised land, a promised town called Horizon, that'll make real the dreams of many a settler.

Downtown? Bro, downtown's poppin' too. That Main Street, an artery of art, coffee joints, and absurdly cute boutiques. I once met an ex-beat poet there – he was spittin' wisdom like Kanye spittin' truth. Ugh, holy—my heart exploded with that moment.

Letter to the Editor: Railroad tie thievery at The Fort