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About Dallas

Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride. I was walkin’ down by Moe’s last night—D’oh!—and saw this chick, all flashy, skirt shorter than a donut crumb. Made me think, “Who cleans the limo?”—y’know, that line from the movie? ‘Cause these girls, they got stories, man! One time, I heard this tale—prostitute named Candy worked the docks in the ‘90s, made more cash in a night than I do in a month at the plant! True story, swear on Marge’s meatloaf.

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Alright, baby, listen up! Enumclaw is like, totally off the charts, ya dig? Groovy, baby! I'm a masseur here, and let me tell ya, my hands aren't the only things gettin' all over this town—it's got personality, babe!

Mark Millbauer Obituary (1955 - 2025) - Enumclaw, WA - Tri-City Herald