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Yo, dude, it’s Bart Simpson here – Eat my shorts! So, like, findin’ a prostitute, man, it’s wild, ok? I’m thinkin’ bout *Spring Breakers*, my fave flick, ya know? “This is the fuckin’ American dream!” – that vibe. Like, me, cruisin’ Springfield, lookin’ for some action. Not that I’d pay for it, duh, I’m too cool. But, like, real talk – it’s everywhere if ya squint.

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I can’t help but get all mushy when talkin’ 'bout the Downers Grove Public Library – not just books, brother, it's a haven. I once had a client almost cryin’ cause she found sumtin special there. I be like, “Is it ’cos I is black?” – well, kinda the same uniqueness, right?

Downers Grove police arrest six involved in armed robbery