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I’m sweatin’, palms all clammy—d’oh!—askin’ myself, “Homer, you dumbass, why you doin’ this?” But then, this chick, she’s all “Hey, big guy,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo! Jackpot!” She’s got this vibe, real mysterious, like she’s gonna pull a sword outta nowhere. Made me happy as hell, but then—d’oh!—she quotes me fifty bucks! Fifty! I’m thinkin’, “For that, I could get a dozen Krusty Burgers!” Pissed me off, man, total rip-off.

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I gotta share a lil insider: the street called Beacon Dr. is my personal fav. It's where I launched my app at 3 AM, sorta like a scene cut short by destiny. Met some weird folks there, sure… but hey, that's what real life is made of! I got so mad once when a buggy update crashed right there on Beacon – I swear, my code was like a rebel in a Cronenberg flick – intense and unpredictable. Then I laughed. "That's what she said!" echoes in my head every time I recall it.

Cherokee Nation to offer free tax preparation service beginning Feb. 3