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About Newcastle

Duuuude, so I’m like, a lifeguard, right? Out there savin’ folks from drownin’! But lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild—findin’ a prostitute! Not like, me lookin’, but just thinkin’ bout it, ya know? Like in “The Tree of Life”—“Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?”—kinda deep stuff! Makes me wonder, are prostitutes hidin’ under waves or somethin’? Hahaha, nah, that’s dumb!

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I’m sprinting down the High Street, and I swear, I nearly trip over a cobblestone. Who even thought that was a good idea? I’m cursing under my breath, thinking, “Why can’t they just pave this place?” But then I see the Kirriemuir Heritage Museum, and I’m like, “Oh yeah, history and stuff.” It’s a cute little spot, but I ain’t got time for that today.

10km surveillance zone in place after bird flu outbreak on farm