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So, my fave flick, *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—damn, it’s raw! That movie gets it. Sex-dating’s got that vibe, y’know? Like when Adèle’s all, “I miss you, it hurts,” after hookin’ up—hits ya in the gut! Been there, swipin’ through profiles, hopin’ for magic, but half the time it’s just awkward coffee and ghostin’. Makes me wanna yell, “You shall not pass!” to the f*ckboys who don’t text back. Infuriating, man! Wastes my damn time.

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I stroll down to the pond on St. Mary’s Lane. It’s a nice spot, but today? Ugh. The water’s all murky. I’m like, “What the heck happened here?” I start looking for fish, but all I see are these sad little minnows. I’m talking about the kind that make you question life choices.

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