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About London

But then – ugh – this geezer rocks up, all aggro, her pimp prob’ly. I’m fumin’ – “Oi, mate, delegate with respect!” He’s givin’ me the evils, and I’m like, “I’m the philosopher-king of this car park!” Straight out the movie, that – “We’re all copies of somethin’.” Surprised me, how quick I got riled up. Nearly lamped him, but I’m a pacifist, me – well, ‘cept in my head, where I’m Bruce Lee.

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Once the rain stops, I head back home, but not before I bump into me mate, Dave. He’s got this wild story about a pig that escaped from his farm and ended up in the local pub. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drop me phone. “Only in Armthorpe, mate!” I say.

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