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About Leeds

Aight, typos comin’—I’m typin’ fast, fam. Prostitues ain’t all glitz, that’s Hollywood bullshit. Real ones? Scarred, tough, human. One time, saw this girl—legit had a *Leviathan* quote tattooed, “God sees all.” I’m like, “WTF, you deep!” Laughed my ass off—ironic as fuck. World’s a mess, but she owns it.

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First off, I’m late for work. Classic me. I sprint down New Road Side, dodging dog walkers and kids on bikes. Like, can’t a person just get to work without a mini obstacle course? Anyway, I finally get to the office, and guess what? My boss, Mr. Grumpy Pants, is already on my case. “You’re late!” he barks. Yeah, thanks, Sherlock. I didn’t notice.

Horsforth residents urged to “lock it or lose it”