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So, this broad, she hops in, smells like cheap perfume and regret. I’m like, “You ever feel lost, doll?” She laughs, “Every damn day, mister.” Boom, straight outta the movie, “Can you keep a secret?” I ask. She nods, I’m thinkin’, “I’m married, but who gives a fuck?” That’s me, Tony fuckin’ Soprano, breakin’ rules, feelin’ alive. But then – fuckin’ surprise – she’s got a sob story. Kid at home, ex screwed her over. I’m pissed now, “Why’s life gotta be so shitty?” I yell. She shrugs, “It just is.”

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I get to Mrs. T’s place, and her oven is a disaster. I mean, it’s like a horror show in there. I’m trying to fix it, and she’s rambling on about her cat, Mr. Whiskers. I’m like, “That’s great, Mrs. T, but I’m not a vet!” But she just keeps going. I swear, I learned more about that cat than I ever wanted to know.

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