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Anyway, we’re chattin, and I’m thinkin, “This chick’s got guts.” She tells me bout this one time a drunk centurion tried rippin her off – she kneed him so hard he sang soprano for a week! Hella funny, I’m crackin up, picturin that loser stumblin off. But then – ugh – this slimy creep butts in, all, “Oi, she’s mine!” Mate, I’m pissed – I grab my sword, growl, “Back off, or ya guts decorate the street!” He bolts, coward. Happy lil trees don’t need that drama.

One man says he hasn't been able to get a full night's sleep in a week

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Certain spots evoke memories—my fav is a hidden cafe on Railway Approach. I get lost there thinking about families, our joys, our pain. I’ve seen tears over cuppas and laughs shared in whispers. Nights – so calm, almost like in that film "The Assassin".. stark, minimalist, haunting.

Car park charges confirmed for six sites across Leeds