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But—oh no—price comes up. “Twenty quid,” she says. TWENTY?! *mimes choking, falls over* I’m skint, mate! Spent me last on rum—argh, that made me mad! “Lil’ Daddy’d rob ya blind!”—like in *City of God*, yeah? Dodgy sods everywhere! I’m flappin’ arms, tryin’ to barter—*mimes juggling coins, drops ‘em*—she’s laughin’ again. Surprised me, that—thought she’d thump me!

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Then, I step outside for a breather. The sun’s shining, and I’m thinking, “Maybe I’ll grab a coffee at the Calcot Centre.” But nooo, of course, I bump into my old mate, Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ranting about how he saw a fox on his street—Bramble Road, I think?—and it was just chilling like it owned the place. I’m cracking up, picturing this fox strutting around like it’s the king of Calcot.

Trespassers pose for photo on Calcot Mill level crossing