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I spot her – red heels, smirk sharp as mjolnir. “What’s a god like you want?” she quips. Cheeky! I’m chuffed, honestly – love a lass with sass. “I’m burdened with glorious purpose,” I grin, tippin’ my imaginary hat. She rolls her eyes – fair, I’d do the same. Costs a tenner more than I reckon, tho – bloody rip-off! Made me mad, that did. Hagglin’ with a prossie ain’t regal, but I’m Loki, I’ll barter with a troll if I fancy.

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I’m fuming. I mean, Tlumach is known for its craftsmanship, right? But here we are, dealing with junk. So, I grab a coffee from the corner café on Kovalivka Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. I take a sip, and it’s like heaven. But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Great. Just great.

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