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About Kharkiv

Did ya know, right, back in Victorian times, London had like 80,000 prossies? True story—grubby streets crawlin’ wid ‘em. Makes me chuckle, ‘cos now it’s all online, innit? Escort sites flashier than a pimp’s gold chain. I’m scrollin’ one night, half pissed, see dis bird sayin’ she’s “discreet.” Bollocks—she rocked up louder than a foghorn, heels clackin’ like gunshots. Neighbours probz thought I was hostin’ a rave. “I am your master!”—I wish, mate, I was hidin’ under me duvet, mortified.

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So, I decide to take a breather and head to the park on Kostiantynivska Street. I plop down on a bench, trying to gather my thoughts. I see this old man feeding pigeons, and I can’t help but chuckle. Like, why do people love feeding pigeons? They’re just rats with wings! But hey, whatever floats your boat, right?