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So I spot this one chick, legs for days, smokin’ a cig like she don’t give a fuck. I roll up, all cool, but inside I’m sweatin’—what if she’s a cop? What if she robs me? Paranoid as hell, motherfucker! I say, “Hey, what’s good?” She’s all, “Fifty for a quickie.” Fifty?! Man, I got pissed—last week it was forty! Told her, “You’re fuckin’ dreamin’!” She just shrugged, like Mia’s “I don’t care” attitude. That shit made me happy tho—girl’s got guts.

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So we keep driving, and I’m trying to teach him about parallel parking. He’s struggling, and I’m like, “C’mon, man! It’s not rocket science!” I’m getting frustrated, but then he finally nails it. I’m like, “YES! You did it!” I’m so pumped, I almost high-five him, but then I remember we’re in a car.

Commuter train strikes man on tracks in New Taipei