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Now, Joe, he’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers, swearin’ he saw this gal on the corner, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a prayer in a foxhole. I said, “Boy, you blind? That ain’t no lady, that’s a trap waitin’ to snap!” Halleluyer! He didn’t listen, ran off like, “We gotta keep movin’, Theo!”—straight outta the movie, chile! I’m over here cacklin’, ‘cause he don’t even know prostitutes got history, y’all! Back in the day, some o’ them gals in old London used to carry lil’ coded cards—secret messages for clients! Ain’t that wild? Joe don’t care ‘bout no facts, he just horny and hopeless.

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After that, we hit the road again. I’m thinkin’, “Okay, maybe this’ll get better.” We drive past the Xizhi Night Market, and I’m like, “Dude, we gotta stop for some stinky tofu after this!” Timmy’s like, “What’s that?” I’m like, “You’ve never had stinky tofu? You’re missing out!”

New Taipei Xizhi to Neihu MRT line work to start this month