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Lemme tell ya, I was hoppin’ ‘round Vegas once—yeah, Vegas, baby! Saw this dame, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owned it. Made me laugh, thinkin’ “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—‘cept she wasn’t so blameless, heh! She winked at me, and I’m like, whoa, slow down, sister! Ain’t my scene, but I watched her work it—smooth as a toon dodgin’ Elmer Fudd. Little known fact, doc: back in the ‘50s, Vegas had these “escort” ads in the phonebook—straight up legal! Ain’t that a hoot?

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After the meeting, I decided to stroll down Yongkang Street. Food stalls everywhere! I swear, the smell of beef noodle soup was calling my name. I couldn’t resist. I ordered a bowl, and it was like a hug in a bowl. Seriously, if I could marry that soup, I would.

Pro-China ex-general Hsu Li-nung dies at age of 106