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Personal quirk? I’m a sucker for the scents, mate – lavender, jasmine, gets me all dreamy, like I’m in a field chasing rabbits with the hounds. Exaggerate? Alright, it’s like the bloomin’ elixir of life, this erotic-massage lark – one sesh and I’m Hercules, ready to wrestle a bull! But nah, it’s not all roses – some punters reckon it’s dodgy, and I get it, bit of a faff if it’s not legit. Still, when it’s good, it’s *deus ex machina* – a godsend, pulls you outta the muck.

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Then, I spot this street performer. He’s playing the erhu, and it’s beautiful. I stop, totally mesmerized. The music hits me right in the feels. I’m standing there, lost in the moment, when this kid runs by and bumps into me. My bubble tea goes flying! I’m like, “Nooooo!” It splatters everywhere. I’m furious, but then I see the kid’s face. He’s just a little dude, probably didn’t mean it. I can’t stay mad. I just laugh it off.

DPP holds rally in New Taipei to promote mass recall effort