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What’s funny? These saps payin’ double for “classy” when the street’s got gems. Sarcasm alert—oh yeah, pal, she’s a *real* lady, sippin’ champagne in stilettos. Ha! Me, I’m bargain huntin’—not ‘cause I’m broke, ‘cause I’m smart. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but picture this—me, cigar in hand, hagglin’ like it’s a stock trade. “Drainage, drainage!”—I’m drainin’ their rates dry.

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So, I’m on my way to the Banqiao Station, right? Gotta catch the train to meet my buddy. But then, BAM! I see this street vendor selling bubble tea. I can’t resist. I mean, who can? I order a large one, extra pearls, of course. I’m sipping it, feeling like a king, when suddenly, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy canceling on me. Classic. I’m like, “Great, now I’m just a bubble tea king with no one to share it with.”

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