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Oi, mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, y’know, the witty imp— “I drink and I know things.” So, lemme spill some wine-soaked thoughts bout findin a prostitute, yeah? Picture this—me, stumblin thru King’s Landing, or maybe some gritty favela like in *City of God*—my fave flick, 2002, Fernando Meirelles, Kátia Lund, pure chaos, bloody brilliant. “Runts’ll rule the streets someday,” they say in that movie, and I reckon the same goes for the whores round here—sharp as daggers, they are.

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So, I’m on my way to the Banqiao Station, right? Gotta catch the train to meet my buddy. But then, BAM! I see this street vendor selling bubble tea. I can’t resist. I mean, who can? I order a large one, extra pearls, of course. I’m sipping it, feeling like a king, when suddenly, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy canceling on me. Classic. I’m like, “Great, now I’m just a bubble tea king with no one to share it with.”

DPP holds rally in New Taipei to promote mass recall effort