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So here’s the pitch, bear with me. You’re this loner, right? Kinda like Adam—tall, pale, too cool for life. But instead of guitars, you’re dodgin’ cops, lookin’ for a hooker in some gritty city. Maybe Detroit, ‘cause Jarmusch loves that decay aesthetic. You’re wanderin’, hearin’ that line in my skull—“When you separate an entwined particle…”—and I’m thinkin’, yeah, this guy’s entangled, alright! With dames, with trouble, with his own damn misery. Pretty, pretty good setup, huh? I’m pattin’ myself on the back already.

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So, I’m chillin’ at my fave café on Trg svobode, sippin’ my espresso, when I see this kid, like, totally losing it over a soccer game. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a game! But nah, he’s crying like he just lost his puppy. I felt for him, though. I mean, I get it. Sports can be intense. I went over, tried to chat him up. “Hey, buddy, it’s just a match!” But he was like, “Noooo! We were so close!”

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