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I hit the streets, tho—elevators get old fast. This one bird, right, she’s standin’ by a flickerin’ lamp, all sass and shadow. “What do you want?” she snaps, like I’m wastin’ her night. “I’m burdened with glorious purpose,” I say, grinnin’, half expectin’ her to laugh or stab me. She rolls her eyes—fair, I’d do the same. “Fifty quid,” she goes, and I’m like, mate, I’m a god, not a bank! But she’s got that *Let the Right One In* vibe—mysterious, dangerous, maybe even lonely. “I don’t let just anyone in,” she mutters, echoin’ the flick, and I’m hooked.

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But then, I hear a commotion outside. I peek out the window on Malmbergetsvägen, and there’s a guy yelling at a pigeon. I’m like, “What’s this dude’s problem?” Turns out, he’s trying to feed it, but the pigeon’s not havin’ it. I can’t help but laugh. Only in Malmberget, right?

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