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But it pisses me off, too – blokes treatin’ ‘em like dirt, “Just meat, mate,” they say. Makes me wanna scream, “You ain’t fuckin’ human!” ‘Cos in *Fish Tank*, Mia’s lost, yeah, "I’m not a kid no more," but she’s still somebody, not just a shag. These girls, they got stories – one told me she nicked a priest’s wallet mid-confession, fuckin’ wild! Swear she winked, “Bless me, Ozzy,” and I nearly pissed meself laughin’.

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But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swooped down and stole my croissant! I was like, “No way! Not my breakfast!” I tried to chase it, but that bird was fast. I mean, it’s like they train for this stuff. I was left standing there, empty-handed and a bit humiliated.

Prime Minister Olof Palme, angered by reports of another...