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Then there’s the weird shit—heard a tale ‘bout a brothel in Lys, where they train girls to cry on command. Tears for extra gold, fuckin’ wild! Customers lap it up, think it’s real passion. Made me chuckle, then gag—pathetic sods. “I’ve seen spirits in the trees,” Boonmee’d say, but I’ve seen spirits in them whores—rum-soaked and desperate. One time, this bloke—big as a horse—passed out mid-shag. Girls robbed him blind, left him in the street. Laughed my arse off, happiest I’d been all week.
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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I woke up in Simrishamn, right? The sun was shining, birds chirping, all that cliché stuff. I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.
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