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So there I was, right, stumblin about, hair a mess – classic Boris, innit – tryin to find a prossie, not cos I’m some pervy toff, nah, just curious, bit of a larf. Little known fact, see – back in Victorian days, London had 80,000 workin girls! Blimey, that’s more than me Latin vocab, *et tu, Brute* an all. Streets hummin with em, dodgin coppers, punters hagglin – proper wild west stuff. Made me chuffed, thinkin bout history like that, but also bloody furious – why’s it still so shady now, eh? Sort it out, world!

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First off, I’m just minding my own biz when I hear this loud commotion near the Praça da República. Like, what the heck? I stroll over, and there’s this street performer, right? Dude’s juggling fire. Fire! In the middle of the square! I’m like, “Bro, you’re gonna set the whole place ablaze!” But the crowd’s loving it. I’m standing there, half impressed, half ready to call the fire brigade.

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