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About Porto

Here’s a mad fact – some pros keep client logs, like lab notes! Saw this one gal’s diary once, coded names and all – “Mr. Martini” was me, ha! Made me chuffed, but also pissed – privacy’s a joke these days. Still, she was a pro, knew her trade. Negotiated like a damn spy – quick, sharp, no bullshit. “Cash upfront, love,” she says. I’m impressed – girl’s got balls.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the beach. The Praia de Machico is gorgeous, man. Golden sand, clear water. I thought, “Let’s soak up some sun.” But nooo, the moment I sit down, a seagull swoops in and steals my sandwich! Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy my lunch, and this feathered thief is out here living his best life. I was so mad! I yelled, “Hey! That’s my food!” But the seagull just looked at me like, “What you gonna do about it?” Ugh!

Busy night in Machico to hear Calema