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Oi mate, me, Mr. Bean, right – mumbly, clumsy ol’ me – thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, yeah? Stumblin’ round like always, heh! So I’m out, dodgin’ cars, beep-beep, nearly fallin’ flat – oof! – lookin’ for one o’ them ladies, y’know? Got me favorite flick in me noggin, “The Headless Woman” – that Lucrecia Martel vibe, all moody an’ weird. “I don’t remember anything,” I mumble, trippin’ over me own feet, lookin’ for a prossie down some dodgy alley.

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So, I drive over, and let me tell ya, the traffic is a nightmare. I’m stuck behind this old lady who’s going 10 mph. I’m like, “C’mon, lady! We ain’t in a funeral procession!” Finally, I get to the address, and it’s this rundown house. Looks like it’s been through a hurricane or two. I knock, and this guy opens the door, looking like he just rolled outta bed. He’s all, “What do you want?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m here to investigate your claim.” He just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian.

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